I hate chopping. An onion? That’s more than enough. The other night I attempted to make a chili, but got really lazy. This is what happened.
First, I quick soaked kidney beans. Picked them over, covered them with water in the pot, boiled, and left to sit for about an hour or when Oprah was done. So maybe fifty minutes at that point.
Next realize that I don’t have enough clean pans to start an onion saute while the beans are cooking. Then realize I have no onions.
Okay, Plan B. Drain kidney beans, rinse, put them back into pot, cover with water (maybe 2-3 extra inches), and set them cooking.
Now for seasoning. Fish out the dried ancho chiles that I meant to make Terry’s Ancho Chile Dressing with. Pop one in the pot o’beans. Then three Rapunzel bouillion cubes (or what will season 6 cups of water, which I figured would be left). Then douse the pan with cumin. Stir. Taste. Then cayenne pepper…enough so you’re like, oh crap that’s gonna be too much.
Then, since I am lazy, and maybe you are too, peel (half-heartedly) two massive cloves of garlic or whatever. Cut slits in the garlic and pop them in there. Make mental note to tell people not to eat the chiles and garlic.
Simmer, simmer, simmer. Ok, boil. Remove lid every five minutes and taste beans. Enjoy watching their little skins curl off. Get really hungry. Corral someone into cubing butternut squash for you. Throw that in a roasting pan at about 400, tossed with olive oil, salt and pepper. Try after about twenty minutes. Realize that you need to cover it with foil cos you are getting hungry and want to eat soon. Continue to steal tastes from both pots now every five minutes. Maybe worry about the ancho a little bit and shred it just a touch.
Then decide that you don’t care about verb tenses or subject verb agreement when you will write the inevitable blog post. Get super, super lazy with grammar too. Half-heartedly mince (or what passes for mincing to you) two big cloves of garlic. Preheat a skillet. Pour olive oil in the pan, so much that you think you might have just a bit too much. Throw garlic in. Try not to burn them. Burn them as you open a bag of collard greens (frozen) and throw them in.
Hey, soup’s almost done. So I added a can of diced tomatoes and half a bag of leftover frozen corn. And a bit of cumin. Then the collard greens were done and the squash was perfectly steamed/roasted.
And even though I told them not to, one person still ate the chiles and garlic. Don’t do it!